Thursday, May 15, 2008

Animal Dung is the food of Jinns

Bukhari - Volume 5, Book 58, Number 200:
Narrated Abu Huraira:

That once he was in the, company of the Prophet carrying a water pot for his ablution and for cleaning his private parts. While he was following him carrying it(i.e. the pot), the Prophet said, "Who is this?" He said, "I am Abu Huraira." The Prophet said, "Bring me stones in order to clean my private parts, and do not bring any bones or animal dung." Abu Huraira went on narrating: So I brought some stones, carrying them in the corner of my robe till I put them by his side and went away. When he finished, I walked with him and asked, "What about the bone and the animal dung?" He said, "They are of the food of Jinns. The delegate of Jinns of (the city of) Nasibin came to me--and how nice those Jinns were--and asked me for the remains of the human food. I invoked Allah for them that they would never pass by a bone or animal dung but find food on them."

1) Why was Mohammad cavorting with a race of Jinn, especially if Jinn are demonic spirits?
2) Why did Allah have mercy on the Jinn especially when he is against the Jinn?
3) Why did the Jinn want to eat animal dung or bones? Couldn't they have chosen something better?
a) Mohammad, ever the nice guy, only managed to get the Jinn animal dung or bone because they were such nice Jinn. How much would he get you, as an individual, for being nice to him?

In a related twist, Bukhari added this verse to ensure that one day, his prophet's words would be vindicated. And today, it has... With...

THE JINN CATCHER (The Muslim Dream Catcher)

However, in a move to show that this verse is real, chief Muslim scientists from around the globe have come up with a novel invention: The Jinn Catcher! The Jinn Catcher is like a giant mouse trap. It is operated by putting a piece of animal dung or bone in an area. Once the Jinn come and start eating the animal dung, they burn through a trip wire that immidiately causes a giant trap to fall on them.

In order not to hurt the Jinn, Muslim scientists have come up with a way to keep the Jinn alive in the trap. There is a fear that the Jinn would consume all the oxygen in the trap and in effect, suffocate themselves and no longer exist. Islamic scientists have managed to ensure that oxygen will continue to pump down into the trap, so that the Jinn may continue to breath.

Monday, May 12, 2008

How Mohammad cleaned himself after Janaba [Sexual discharge]

Volume 1, Book 5, Number 248:
Narrated 'Aisha:
Whenever the Prophet took a bath after Janaba [sexual discharge] he started by washing his hands and then performed ablution like that for the prayer. After that he would put his fingers in water and move the roots of his hair with them, and then pour three handfuls of water over his head and then pour water all over his body.

Once again, Bukhari informs faithful Muslim readers about Mohammad's habits. This time, he talks about what Mohammad would do after sexually discharging himself. Once again, the Sunnah provides Muslims the perfect method of cleansing themselves after they satisfied their carnal instincts.

However, one must ask several questions about how Bukhari describes these events:

1) Why did Mohammad perform ablution the same way he performed it for prayer?
a) Why did Bukhari make a point of highlighting this fact?
b) Does Bukhari implicitly make a connection that Mohammad's sex life is an important part of his religion (i.e. Several Quranic sources clearly show that Mohammad is a sexual libertine: Qur'an 33:51 - Mohammad can have any woman he desires; Qur'an 66:1 - Mohammad can break his vows to his consorts to add to his harem; Qur'an 66:5 - threat to his wives to behave, otherwise Allah will give Mohammad better wives; and one of the best lines coming from "Tabari VIII:110" - "When Abu Sufyan learned that the Prophet had taken her, he said, 'That stallion's nose is not to be restrained!'")

Bukhari also highlights something that must be thought of in depth. If the above questions are thought of in the converse, and that sexuality was a wrong which required a full body cleansing, why is Mohammad's idea of heaven filled with 72 virgins?

Finally, Bukhari clearly illustrates that the only method in which Mohammad knew how to purify himself was through the body.
1) If Mohammad was a prophet, a spiritual man, why was the cleansing of the body so important to him, but the cleansing of one's spirit neglected?
a) In none of the Hadiths is there a chapter dedicated to cleaning the soul. Is this omission an admission that Mohammad confused bodily purity for spiritual purity?

Friday, May 9, 2008

Allah's Apostle forbade the eating of garlic and the meat of donkeys

Volume 5, Book 59, Number 526:
Narrated Ibn Umar:
On the day of Khaiber, Allah's Apostle forbade the eating of garlic and the meat of donkeys.

And yet, most middle eastern dishes contain garlic. Next time a Muslim says "I cant eat pork", one should say "you can't eat garlic either but you still do!"

However, eating donkey meat is just disgusting...

Thursday, May 8, 2008

Mohammad had lots of semen on his clothes

Volume 1, Book 4, Number 229:
Narrated 'Aisha:
I used to wash the traces of Janaba (semen) from the clothes of the Prophet and he used to go for prayers while traces of water were still on it (water spots were still visible).

Volume 1, Book 4, Number 230:
Narrated 'Aisha:
as above (229).

Volume 1, Book 4, Number 231:
Narrated Sulaiman bin Yasar:
I asked 'Aisha about the clothes soiled with semen. She replied, "I used to wash it off the clothes of Allah's Apostle and he would go for the prayer while water spots were still visible. "

Volume 1, Book 4, Number 232:
Narrated 'Amr bin Maimun:
I heard Sulaiman bin Yasar talking about the clothes soiled with semen. He said that 'Aisha had said, "I used to wash it off the clothes of Allah's Apostle and he would go for the prayers while water spots were still visible on them.

Volume 1, Book 4, Number 233:
Narrated 'Aisha:
I used to wash the semen off the clothes of the Prophet and even then I used to notice one or more spots on them.


Wow... Mohammad was quite the man. I am sure Bukhari included these verses because of his admiration and total respect for Mohammad.

Yet, once again, this story brings to mind several questions regarding the life and times of Mohammad.

1) If Mohammad had many wives, why was his semen on his clothes?
a) Did Mohammad withdraw and get the semen on hmself?
b) Couldn't Mohammad have shot the semen somewhere else?
c) Was Mohammad the inventor of the "money shot" which resulted in his poor aim?
d) What type of sexual moves was Mohammad pioneering where Aisha was just never able to clean all the semen stains of his cloak?
2) Why didn't Mohammad use another cloak before he went to preach?
a) As a prophet who was entitled to 20% of the war booty, couldnt he have at least obtained another cloak/robe just for that reason?
b) Couldnt Mohammad have waited until the wet spots used to clean his semen were dry before he went to preach?
3) How much semen did Mohammad have on his cloak, seeing how Aisha would always find another spot?
4) Was it customary for people in 600 AD Arabia to have semen on their clothing, especially considering that Aisha made it a point to relate this story to several people, as if she were complaining about having to clean Mohammad's semen stains?

And finally, a question for modern day Muslims:

If Mohammad is the perfect human being, and should be imitated by all Muslims, shouldn't all Muslims make sure to have semen stains on their clothing, and then have their wives clean it with water before they go and work, in order to faithfully imitate their prophet?

Wednesday, May 7, 2008

When you bargain, say "No Cheating"

Volume 9, Book 86, Number 94:

Narrated 'Abdullah bin 'Umar:

A man mentioned to the Prophet that he had always been cheated in bargains. The Prophet said, "Whenever you do bargain, say, 'No cheating.'"

Ok, I have no idea how uttering the words "no cheating" is going to stop someone from hustling you.

I went to Chinatown the other day, and I told the Chinese men, "no cheating." Instantaneoulsy, they lowered the prices of their goods to cost, and, oh my... I saved a bundle. I then went to the GAP and uttered this line. Lo and behold, the prices were cut by half.

That is the most clever line I ever heard in my life.

(The above events are sarcastic...)

Tuesday, May 6, 2008

Magic was worked on Allah's Apostle so that he began to imagine that he had done something although he had not

Volume 7, Book 71, Number 661:
Narrated 'Aisha:

Magic was worked on Allah's Apostle so that he began to imagine that he had done something although he had not. One day while he was with me, he invoked Allah and invoked for a long period and then said, "O 'Aisha! Do you know that Allah has instructed me regarding the matter I asked Him about?" I asked, "What is that, O Allah's Apostle?" He said, "Two men came to me; one of them sat near my head and the other sat near my feet. One of them asked his companion, 'What is the disease of this man?' The other replied, 'He is under the effect of magic.' The first one asked, 'Who has worked magic on him?" The other replied, 'Labid bin A'sam, a Jew from the tribe of Bani Zuraiq.' The (first one asked), 'With what has it been done?' The other replied, 'With a a comb and the hair stuck to it and a skin of the pollen of a male datepalm tree.' The first one asked, 'Where is it?' The other replied, 'In the well of Dharwan.' Then the Prophet went along with some of his companions to that well and looked at that and there were date palms near to it. Then he returned to me and said, 'By Allah the water of that well was (red) like the infusion of Henna leaves and its date-palms were like the heads of devils" I said, O Allah's Apostle! Did you take those materials out of the pollen skin?" He said, 'No! As for me Allah has healed me and cured me and I was afraid that (by Showing that to the people) I would spread evil among them when he ordered that the well be filled up with earth, and it was filled up with earth "

This passage is interesting in that Mohammad clearly admits that he was cursed, as he would be the first prophet in the history of mankind to be have an evil curse on him (assuming he is a prophet, seeing how Mohammad did not prophesize anything, and he himself said his greatest and only miracle was the quran (ofcourse it would be the greatest miracle if it was your only miracle, and where it is a miracle or not can clearly be argued).

But, the passage sheds light on Mohammad as an individual, and his entire credibility should be examined, once again.

1) If Mohammad bragged about things he imagined, how can any of his accomplishments be taken seriously if there is no one to corroborate those actions?
a) What things did Mohammad imagine?
b) Is Islam based on deception if Mohammad imagined his actions, and islam was based on his actions and deeds?
2) Why would a Jew put a curse on Mohammad?
a) What curse did he put on Mohammad with a comb, of all things?
3) If Mohammad had been cursed, why did he not remove those "materials out of the pollen skin?"
a) Mohammad's answer was that he was cured by Allah. But, couldnt he have imagined being cured by Allah, especially when the magic was to cause him to imagine things?

As we will see, Mohammad was a man cursed many times by demonic spirits, (by his own admissions), which must make one question how any holy deity could call him their messenger when this messenger was in the clutches of satanic spirits.

Monday, May 5, 2008

Moses and Allah making fun of Mohammad?

Source Sahih Muslim

Ok, this passage is very long. So I will underline the part I am referring to below.

Chapter 75: NIGHT JOURNEY OF THE MESSENGER OF ALLAH (MAY PEACE BE UPON HIM) TO HEAVEN, AND THE PRAYER MADE OBLIGATORY
Book 001, Number 0309:

It is narrated on the authority of Anas b. Malik that the Messenger of Allah (may peace be upon him) said: I was brought al-Buraq Who is an animal white and long, larger than a donkey but smaller than a mule, who would place his hoof a distance equal to the range of version. I mounted it and came to the Temple (Bait Maqdis in Jerusalem), then tethered it to the ring used by the prophets. I entered the mosque and prayed two rak'ahs in it, and then came out and Gabriel brought me a vessel of wine and a vessel of milk. I chose the milk, and Gabriel said: You have chosen the natural thing. Then he took me to heaven. Gabriel then asked the (gate of heaven) to be opened and he was asked who he was. He replied: Gabriel. He was again asked: Who is with you? He (Gabriel) said: Muhammad. It was said: Has he been sent for? Gabriel replied: He has indeed been sent for. And (the door of the heaven) was opened for us and lo! we saw Adam. He welcomed me and prayed for my good. Then we ascended to the second heaven. Gabriel (peace be upon him) (asked the door of heaven to be opened), and he was asked who he was. He answered: Gabriel; and was again asked: Who is with you? He replied: Muhammad. It was said: Has he been sent for? He replied: He has indeed been sent for. The gate was opened. When I entered 'Isa b. Maryam and Yahya b. Zakariya (peace be upon both of them), cousins from the maternal side. welcomed me and prayed for my good Then I was taken to the third heaven and Gabriel asked for the opening (of the door). He was asked: Who are you? He replied: Gabriel. He was (again) asked: Who is with you? He replied Muhammad (may peace be upon him). It was said: Has he been sent for? He replied He has indeed been sent for. (The gate) was opened for us and I saw Yusuf (peace of Allah be upon him) who had been given half of (world) beauty. He welcomed me prayed for my well-being. Then he ascended with us to the fourth heaven. Gabriel (peace be upon him) asked for the (gate) to be opened, and it was said: Who is he? He replied: Gabriel. It was (again) said: Who is with you? He said: Muhammad. It was said: Has he been sent for? He replied: He has indeed been sent for. The (gate) was opened for us, and lo! Idris was there. He welcomed me and prayed for my well-being (About him) Allah, the Exalted and the Glorious, has said:" We elevated him (Idris) to the exalted position" (Qur'an xix. 57). Then he ascended with us to the fifth heaven and Gabriel asked for the (gate) to be opened. It was said: Who is he? He replied Gabriel. It was (again) said: Who is with thee? He replied: Muhammad. It was said Has he been sent for? He replied: He has indeed been sent for. (The gate) was opened for us and then I was with Harun (Aaron-peace of Allah be upon him). He welcomed me prayed for my well-being. Then I was taken to the sixth heaven. Gabriel (peace be upon him) asked for the door to be opened. It was said: Who is he? He replied: Gabriel. It was said: Who is with thee? He replied: Muhammad. It was said: Has he been sent for? He replied: He has indeed been sent for. (The gate) was opened for us and there I was with Musa (Moses peace be upon him) He welcomed me and prayed for my well-being. Then I was taken up to the seventh heaven. Gabriel asked the (gate) to be opened. It was said: Who is he? He said: Gabriel It was said. Who is with thee? He replied: Muhammad (may peace be upon him.) It was said: Has he been sent for? He replied: He has indeed been sent for. (The gate) was opened for us and there I found Ibrahim (Abraham peace be upon him) reclining against the Bait-ul-Ma'mur and there enter into it seventy thousand angels every day, never to visit (this place) again. Then I was taken to Sidrat-ul-Muntaha whose leaves were like elephant ears and its fruit like big earthenware vessels. And when it was covered by the Command of Allah, it underwent such a change that none amongst the creation has the power to praise its beauty.


Then Allah revealed to me a revelation and He made obligatory for me fifty prayers every day and night. Then I went down to Moses (peace be upon him) and he said: What has your Lord enjoined upon your Ummah? I said: Fifty prayers.

He said: Return to thy Lord and beg for reduction (in the number of prayers), for your community shallnot be able to bear this burden. as I have put to test the children of Isra'il and tried them (and found them too weak to bear such a heavy burden). He (the Holy Prophet) said: I went back to my Lord and said: My Lord, make things lighter for my Ummah. (The Lord) reduced five prayers for me. I went down to Moses and said. (The Lord) reduced five (prayers) for me, He said: Verily thy Ummah shall not be able to bear this burden; return to thy Lord and ask Him to make things lighter.

I then kept going back and forth between my Lord Blessed and Exalted and Moses, till He said: There are five prayers every day and night. O Muhammad, each being credited as ten, so that makes fifty prayers. He who intends to do a good deed and does not do it will have a good deed recorded for him; and if he does it, it will be recorded for him as ten; whereas he who intends to do an evil deed and does not do, it will not be recorded for him; and if he does it, only one evil deed will be recorded.

I then came down and when I came to Moses and informed him, he said: Go back to thy Lord and ask Him to make things lighter. Upon this the Messenger of Allah remarked: I returned to my Lord until I felt ashamed before Him.


Besides the extreme length of this passage, this passage tries to show that Mohammad could argue with his allah. However, two glaring questions must be answered:

1) Did Moses know better about human nature than Allah, the alleged creator of humanity? (This conclusion is reasonable seeing how it was Moses who knew the prayer threshold human beings could take as opposed to the alleged creator, allah.) If not;
2) Were Moses and Allah making fun of Mohammad and his followers? (It is well known that Allah is a great trickster/schemer (Quran - Surah 3:55), so it is conceivable to see that Moses and Allah playing a joke on Mohammad to see how many times he would go back and forth to negotiate.

On a side note, it is ironic to see that a Jewish prophet was the person who saved Muslims from 50 prayers a day, while the Quran labels Jews as "Apes and Swine." Wonder if maybe Allah did not like Moses interfering on behalf of Muslims.

Thursday, May 1, 2008

Mohammad had the sexual strength of 30 men?

Volume 1, Book 5, Number 268:
Narrated Qatada:
Anas bin Malik said, "The Prophet used to visit all his wives in a round, during the day and night and they were eleven in number." I asked Anas, "Had the Prophet the strength for it?" Anas replied, "We used to say that the Prophet was given the strength of thirty (men)." And Sa'id said on the authority of Qatada that Anas had told him about nine wives only (not eleven).

What type of religious figure indulges in earthly pleasures?
Wouldn't a religious figure be more concerned about the welfare of his people rather than engaging in an earthly orgy of satisfying 11 women?
Why was Mohammad allowed 9 wives where his followers are allowed only 4 wives? Doesnt this scream hypocrisy, in the same way that cult leaders practice (i.e. David Koresh)?
Wouldn't it have been better for the prophet to serve his people as opposed to serving his carnal instincts?

This verse clearly shows how seriously Bukhari took Mohammad as a prophet by illustrating Mohammad's voracious desire for women.